A Brazilian woman has taken “toxic relationship” to a whole new level.
Trust us, this story will have you triple-checking your bedroom boundaries.
When “Till Death Do Us Part” Gets Too Literal
In a shocking incident from Sao de Jose Rio Preto, Brazil, a woman has admitted to what local media is calling “cunning cunnilingus” – and no, this isn’t the plot of a true crime podcast.
The 43-year-old husband (whose name has been withheld, and honestly, we get it) found himself the target of perhaps the most intimate murder plot ever conceived.
Something Doesn’t Smell Right
When the wife invited her unsuspecting husband to perform oral sex, she probably thought she had the perfect crime planned.
But like many criminal masterminds, she didn’t account for one crucial detail: the nose knows.
The husband noticed an unusual odor and, in what might be the most concerned spouse move ever, actually took her to the hospital, fearing for her health.
Medical tests revealed the truth – and it was more shocking than anyone expected.
The woman had doused her intimate areas with enough poison to kill not just her husband, but herself as well. Talk about commitment to the cause!
When confronted with the evidence, she confessed to the whole plot.
According to Tvi24, the failed femme fatale had initially asked her husband for a divorce.
When that didn’t work out as planned, she apparently decided to take matters into her own… well, you know.
The Law Has Some Questions (As Do We All)
Local police officer Walter Coacino Junior has called for “further investigation” due to the “nature” of the case, which is probably the most diplomatic way possible to describe this situation.
The woman may face attempted murder charges, though we’re guessing this case might present some unique challenges in court.
Expert Commentary (Because Someone Had To Say It)
The Jezebel website helpfully points out that “poisoning someone through your vagina is not that good of an idea” because “your vagina is fairly absorbent and shoving a bunch of poison in it will probably hurt you as much as it hurts the person you’re trying to kill.”
File that under “advice we never thought we’d need.”
The woman has received medical treatment, and sources say her husband plans to sue for attempted murder.
We’re going to go out on a limb and guess their marriage counselor has officially given up.
Editor’s Note:
This article was sourced from original reporting by:
- Tvi24 (Brazilian news agency)
- The Jezebel website